The other one, not M.

He’s a liberal Democrat, he's Jewish and he lives in Massachusetts. He’s an only child who takes great care of his aging parents. He works in the social services field and is an accomplished and sought after speaker on topics in his field. He’s devoted to his work. I’ve watched him graduate college, get his masters degree and work on his doctorate. I’ve been proud of him every step up the ladder he’s taken. After twenty years when I answer the phone and hear his voice we are able to pick up right where we left off. His name is Mike.

When we first met I wasn’t so impressed. It was in my Wellness class first semester freshman year in college. My most distinct memory is him trying to beg off a stress test for religious reasons. I think it was Rosh Hashana or some such. I remember thinking, “Good grief, play the religion card…you just don’t want to do the exercise.” Bear witness to my cultural sensitivity at the time. He was round like me and while I dreaded the exercise too, I thought he was being lame for trying to use an excuse. I never told him about that. Good thing, huh?

We chatted in that class and we got along just fine. He ended up joining Circle K too, so I got to know him better there. Whenever we talked it was in a group setting. In the spring semester my group started to mix with his group. We had great fun together and everyone got along. There was this awkward phase where his friends kept trying to shove us together, like they had expectations for a big romance. Mike was never my romantic type, and I hoped he felt the same about me. But there were worries on my part for a while. Finally, my good pal Meredith took it upon herself to set the record straight. She asked him point blank and he said we were just friends and he wasn’t interested in me like that. From then on we became great friends.

Over the summer between freshman and sophomore year I went to visit him. He lived in Springfield and my grandparents lived in Alexandria. It was a day visit. It was kind of cool because it established the fact that we were the kind of friends who would make the extra effort to see each other. Over that summer he lost a bunch of weight too.

Sophomore year Mike drew a low housing lottery number and was exiled to Dillard, which was located miles from campus. The only bonus with that was Dillard exiles were allowed to have cars. The rest of us had to wait until Junior (or was it Senior?) year.

Mike was the one friend who stuck with me all the way through college. Through all the shit I went through he was the one that kept calling, kept coming to see me, and kept tabs on how I was doing. I’m not faulting the rest of them. I became geographically and emotionally isolated from my friends for a period of time and many lost interest. I was a difficult friend to have because it was hard to find me and I kept odd hours. It didn’t matter with Mike. He saw some of those negatives as positives and made the best of the situation. He was a lifesaver to me then.

We developed a close relationship, a brother/sister type relationship. I’d tease him and torture him over the girls he pined for. I loved playing the sister role. By the time we were seniors I think some of the youngsters thought I was a bitch because of the things I’d say to him. But that was our shtick. We both ate it up. We had our comfort zone and screw those who didn’t get it.

We used to get together for lunch weekly. Our favorite was the build-your-own sandwich at Second St. on Jefferson. We went to the senior dance together (with friends) and took a beach vacation together (with friends), right before graduation. On an alarming note, at the senior dance our close friends pulled us aside individually and told us they really thought we should get married. I couldn’t believe it! Didn’t they pay any attention at all? I think Mike and I both told them, individually, that they were nuts.

Since then we’ve kept in touch. He’s visited here and we’ve been to his place in Massachusetts. It took a little while for M to realize that Mike was no threat, but once he got that into his head they became good friends too. We’ve seen him in Williamsburg a couple of times. The most recent was when we both had conferences there at almost the same time. That was awesome. We even got to see Meredith too.

I wanted to interject this into my narrative because Mike plays a big part from here on out.

Next...sophomore year begins.

Labels: college years