Saturday, August 27, 2005
Xtina says she never said it
Ms. Aguilera claims the the quote that I commented on in an earlier post was a tabloid fabrication. In the interest of fairness I'm linking to her comments.
Today's object of fascination
Today she discovered the diaper genie and learned that the collapsible clothes hamper will not support her weight.

Reading Is Fundamental
I pulled this book off the shelf for the first time today. It was a big hit. She snuggled in my lap for a long time looking at it while I said the words for her. Once I figured she'd had enough I put her down on the floor to play and hid the book behind my chair. She immediately started bawling. So we read some more. lol. Live and learn.

early reader.wmv
Emma's favorite entertainment, Beaker.
Tell me if you think she likes her brown dog:

happy clappy.wmv
Friday, August 26, 2005
Friday Night Post
In lieu of any original thought I present you with a picture:
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Baby kisses
Yeah, that's right! My baby kisses me now. For reals.

OK, granted it's an open mouth thing, no pucker, but she actually turns to me and plants it on my mouth. Ha! Call my baby anti-social and unaffectionate! (You know who you are). :P
Another boring weekend around the corner
Sigh. No plans. I briefly thought about going over the mountains and visiting the Book Fair and doing a little shopping, but I'm having an energy problem. Not physically, mentally. The mere thought of hitting the book fair on a Saturday exhausts me. It's an awesome sale, people come from all over the east coast. They put in on for two week periods about six times a year. I've been going for over twenty years now.

Also, there is the thought of buying a tank of gas. Ick. Last I looked it was $2.59 a gallon for regular. Thank goodness we took our vacation to the Outer Banks in May before everything went to hell. I want to go, but I'm just not sure I should. Blech.
A matter of expedience
The last couple of days Emma has been trying to close short distances on two feet without holding onto anything. I'm not declaring a walker yet because she's had varied success. What pleases me is 1. She is doing this on her own, no one is prompting her. 2. She seemed to realize on her own that the direct path often doesn't include hand-holds and she might as well try it and see.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I finally captured it on film!
I've got Emma doing one of her favorite things, pushing something along while crawling. She's a regular Speedy Gonzales. It's pretty funny, she works hard enough to break a sweat. Enjoy!

playing in her room.wmv
Severe case of H.U.A.
That was me this afternoon. I picked up Emma at the babysitters as usual and as I was leaving backed into her husband's car. Oops. The thing was, it never really registered that he'd moved it into the place I use to back around. I'm sure I saw it in passing, it just didn't sink in. He said he moved it there so he could mow. Anyway, thank goodness there was no real damage done. Basically I transferred some dust from my bumper to his front quarterpanel. No dents, no real scratches. I got off so lucky. So I guess that was my break today.
I want to show you my charm bracelet

This is the one I started a few months ago. Each charm has a special meaning (from left to right):

Heart - OK, that came with the bracelet and is soldered on. I should have it engraved.
Diamond ring - That symbolizes M. & me and our marriage.
Pink Flamingo - Um, that one I bought because I liked it and I needed to pick a second one to get a deal. (I know, sucker) ;)
Cap with Army Crest - This is for my brother and SIL, the Army captains.
Hummingbird - That one is for my mom, who likes hummingbird collectibles.
Squirrel - That's for Pa Paw, who fed peanuts to the squirrels in his yard. He always had peanuts in his pocket.
Angel - That's for sweet Emma, with her October birth stone.
Pineapple - That's for Williamsburg, where I went to college. I'll always love returning to my second home.
Flower - I just liked it a lot. And my favorite color is purple.
Shopping bag - Um, yeah, I love shopping.
Four-leaf clover - Everyone has to have a lucky charm!
Dalmatian - That's for Jake (see below)
Cherries - I really liked these, had to have them, hence the pink flamingo deal.
High-heeled shoe - For my grandmother, Bea Bea, the southern goddess in high heels.
US Flag - For Dad, Army veteran and patriot.

I love to wear it, but I seldom get the opportunity. It's too cumbersome for work. I love to feel the weight of it on my wrist. If I keep adding I may not be able to lift my arm!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Have you ever seen an ugly baby?
Well, have you? Yeah, I thought so. What do you say to the mother? "Isn't he adorable!" or "She has her mother's eyes" or some other white lie. And thank God people do lie. Can you imagine someone telling you your baby is ugly? What a slap in the face that would be.

Before Emma was born I wondered aloud to M. whether as parents we would ever be able to see our daughter objectively. Or would it always be through rose-colored glasses? I suspected that I could tell if my daugther was homely. But I can't ever really know if I'm being objective. Maybe my eye is too critical, who knows?

So if you see a mother with a baby that is butt ugly, consider it a test. She may suspect her baby's not gorgeous, but you damned well better be praising that child as the second coming of Michaelangelo, or you will FAIL.
Stories like this are heartbreaking. There are just so many ways harm can come to a baby, no matter how many precautions you take.

I've only slept with Emma once. And I wasn't really sleeping anyway. She was sick. It was the second night of a terrible cold. Noni and Popi happened to be staying over the first night and Noni volunteered to take care of her so I could sleep. She ended up being awake all night, even though Emma did sleep some in her swing. Noni said she didn't mind, and I believe her because I know she'd stay up all night just to have the time with Emma (crazy woman). On the second night Emma could not rest so I brought her into my bed and propped her on pillows so she could breathe. I lay next to her all night but couldn't really ever sleep. I have a hard time sleeping anyway and I was concerned about my baby.

When I was in the hospital they brought Emma to me because she wouldn't calm down even after she'd been fed (or not fed, turns out she was starving). Anyway, I got her calmed down and just laid in the bed with her, even then putting 10" between the two of us. A nurse came in and scolded me when she found us. Once again, I wasn't really sleeping anyway. It has just been drilled into my head that it was dangerous to sleep with your baby.

So when I read something like this from the story,

She also said she had never been warned of the dangers of suffocating a baby whilst sleeping with it - an occurrence known as overlaying.

I find it so hard to believe she had never been warned.

Later I find out there is a whole parenting philosophy that advocates co-sleeping. It is believed to be more natural and better for the baby and the mother. I'm sure it's been done since the beginning of time so it makes sense, right? Advocates have fifty million arguements for why it's better, but they don't really need to press the point. I can see why any mother would love to do it. Except me.

I can't sleep with someone touching me. I need total darkness and sound dampening with earplugs. There are so many conditions which must be met it's ridiculous. I don't know why I'm a high maintenance sleeper, but there it is. A baby in my bed would make it impossible for me to rest. And...there's the risk. No matter how many ways it is good for bonding purposes, I could never get over the fear of hurting Emma.

I know many mothers who I respect and like very much who sleep with their babies. I envy their opportunity to be close and share that time together. I would never speak out against co-sleeping just because it's not for me. Likewise, I don't really appreciate it when militant co-sleeping advocates try to tell me I'm f***** up by not doing what they're doing. If you believe the risk it worth it then by all means, I'm happy that you have something so wonderful you share. Just don't try to make me feel bad because I can't do it. At least I know I won't end up being the subject of a story just like this.
What to wear?
It's getting to be that time of year when getting dressed in the morning is fraught with peril. What do you wear? Will you burn up all day or freeze? This morning it was 58 degrees when we left the house. So far I've been in favor of shorts for Emma if at all possible, maybe adding socks. I put her in a cute pair of capris a few days ago and it definitely had an adverse effect on her mobility. She could crawl across the carpet at warp speed as usual, but as soon as she'd hit the hardwood floor her knees would slip out from under her and SPLAT. I suspect it would be good for her to learn to adapt because long pants weather is coming fast here in the mountains. She needs to learn to crawl in pants, but do I really have to watch? It's terrible watching her collapsing every few seconds. Maybe she'll get pissed off and just start walking? Ya think?
I hit it today, I've got a board meeting, nutjobs out the wazoo and well...actually just those two, so it's more like an exacta. But the day's not over, so give it time!
100th Post!
They want my baby. Noni and Popi want to have her overnight. By themselves. Without me. They've warned me before that this was coming. Still, I'm not sure if I'm ready. What the heck would I do with myself if they took my baby and I'm stuck at home in the mountains? Clean the house? Hell no. I've given up on that. No more cleaning here. I have a baby, cleaning is not a priority anymore.

See, they get the best of both worlds. They have my baby and they get to be where there's stuff to do. I'm SOL.

I know they'd take good care of her, that's not the issue. They'd spoil her to pieces. It just makes my stomach weak to think about being without her.

I guess what I could do is consider the possibility of participating in some grown-up activity in the future and having them take her for the night then. That might work. Or, I offered to house swap, they can spend the weekend in the lovely mountains in my house and we'd stay in theirs and go on a date or something. I didn't get a warm response to that one. I guess they'd be bored to tears here too.

Anyway...I'm sure the (gentle, but always lingering) pressure will only crank up from here.
This one's for Noni
She likes to see her grandkids wearing the outfits she buys them (who wouldn't?) and playing with the toys she gives them:

sesame street fun.wmv