One consequence of talking about your feelings on your blog is that someone who loves you might actually want to talk to you about it and examine what is going on...lol. Thanks Mom ;)
So upon further navel-gazing here are some thoughts... The restlessness excalated once I had my Germany tickets ordered, so I may be more upset about leaving Emma than I realize. I'm a worrier. What if something happens to us? That sort of thing. I should probably get some wills in order before we go. Heavy thought, but it needs to be done anyway. I am very anxious to get on with the trip now that I know it's really going to happen.
Another thing that's bothering me is that I've been told that we won't know if the store is earning us anything until our taxes are done. So I'm waiting to find out that, as well as find out if we get a refund or we owe, and how much either way. Usually I do my own taxes but the store's bookkeeper is going to do them this year and M. hasn't given her the stuff yet. We need to know if the store is doing decently before we can make a decision whether to have another child. I've already given all my paperwork to M. but it's still sitting on the kitchen counter. Hellooooo? Big things riding on this, do you think you could move it along please?
I'm not sleeping well lately, but you already knew that. To compound the situation Emma woke up hollering last night. I got up four seperate times to calm her and M. did it twice. What is up with this kid? We'd go in there and she was still laying down, often with her eyes closed, hollering like crazy. WTF? If we poked the paci in she'd stop, but 6 times? I have no idea.
There's a little extended family agitation and unfairness that weighs on me. I just want everyone to get along, why is it that your family often has some of the most challenging people to understand? I just don't get their perspective sometimes. I love them all, but sometimes it's harder than others.
And to cap off this lovely day a 25 year-old girl/neighbor up and died. No known underlying medical problem except obesity. Still, most people don't die from being fat, especially not at 25. From what I could see she had a short, sad life as somewhat of an outcast and it just seems so unfair that she didn't have decades more to make it better.
I'm done whining now.