Saturday, December 20, 2008
Now the preggo is all emotional...
I awoke early this morning. When I finally looked at the clock I figured it would be six-ish. 4:05 a.m. Oh, great. My mind wandered and fixated on the girl next door. She's 18, still in school, and she just gave birth on Thursday. The father was 15 (now 16) and the circumstances were such that adoption was rationally the best option. She was almost six months pregnant before anyone else knew. Her pregnancy went to the end before the decision was finally made, but she did decide for adoption.

I can't tell you how I've been affected by this. It's stuck with me since I found out she was pregnant, coincidentally, the same day I found out I was pregnant. Since she gave birth it's been constantly on my mind. We're acquaintances at best, although I'm closer to her mother, but not that close. Still, as I was lying there in bed and thinking about her, and all the other young (and older) women like her, I started forming words to her in my mind. And then the tears started, very slowly, but still enough emotional leakage to cause me puzzlement. Why is this affecting me so?

I got up and came downstairs, determined to put my words to her in a card. I found the perfect card in a box, all delicate and pale, with the words on the front, "Especially for you." The inside was blank and this is what I wrote...

"Dear ________,
I am writing to express my admiration for you and the choice you have made to provide infinite joy to a family that wanted a baby so much. As one who was believed to be infertile for years, and who wanted a child so badly, I believe you have provided the greatest gift one can ever give. God Bless you as your body heals and I pray He grants peace to your soul."

I have no idea how the letter will be received or what state of mind she must be in. But I can only hope that it will be consolation to her that someone admires her, first and foremost, for making the hard choice and giving something more precious than anything on Earth to a couple who wanted it more than anything.

Maybe now I can get some rest.